Sarcasm at Its Best - Short Story Blog 4 (You're Ugly, Too)

" 'I knew a dog who could do that,' said Zoe, with her mouth full."

~ Lorrie Moore, You're Ugly, Too


First of all, I would just like to say that I have used this joke twice since I read this story. And that dry humor is probably my favorite. I enjoyed Zoe's sense of humor and sarcasm throughout the story. I think the reasons for her jokes is really depressing though - she's so insecure about herself that she pushes people away before she can screw it up herself. I mean, don't get me wrong, it's entertaining, but just a little sad. Her rough exterior is completely different from her fragile self-image which could shatter at any given moment. It's a little ridiculous that she would even think other people care about her appearances at all - once someone's horrible personality is revealed, looks are kind of out of the question. It makes you think about how her insecurities are completely deluding her perception of how people receive her humor.

I Know Who I Want to Take Me Home - Short Story Blog 3 (The Drunkard)

" 'Whisht, whisht, whisht, I tell you!' snarled Father, abandoning all pretence of amusement and dragging me along behind him by the hand. I was maddened by the women's shrieks of laughter. I was maddened by Father's bullying. I tried to dig in my heels but he was too powerful for me, and I could only see the women by looking back over my shoulder."

~ Frank O'Connor, The Drunkard

I really enjoyed this story. It was really funny imagining a twelve-year old drunk, because that's like my little brother.


                                                             He's right there --------------->

And if he got my mom's genes, he would be hammered off of a half glass of wine. Hehehehe.

It's also funny to imagine the twelve year old cursing at a bunch of women in his drunken stupor. And being dragged home by his dad. And the mother praising him the next morning. It was just a bunch of events all piled up into one story that was so wrong and funny at the same time. It made me giggle.

Well here's a song that I thought of when I thought of bars.

Cut It in Half / Style - Short Story Blog 2 (Popular Mechanics)

"In this manner, the issue was decided."

~ Raymond Carver, Popular Mechanics


Style is the focus of Popular Mechanics, so I guess we will start there. The biggest thing that I see is the ending. So the couple is fighting over the baby, and it actually gets physical, so the author describes the two as leaning back while both holding on to the baby. The story ends with the sentence, "in this manner, the issue was decided." So the major stylistic thing is the possibilities of the open ending.

I think that the most reasonable ending is that the baby was injured - from prior events, that seems most likely. But then there are all the possibilities of who gets the baby. That was the question throughout the story. The last sentence says that the matter was decided, but it doesn't actually tell what that resolution was.... so we are left hanging. Did one parent get custody? Did neither parent get the baby (were the injuries so bad that the baby was taken away or suffered death)? Did the couple get back together? WHO KNOWS? I wish this story was as straightforward as its biblical counterpart, the story of Solomon. My best guess is that, because neither parent let go, neither parent loved the baby enough to let it live, so neither parent got the baby. That's how I see it, especially if we are going off the Solomon story.

The Caveman Effect / Point of View - Short Story Blog 1 (Week 5 I think. Don't quote me.) (The Lottery)

" 'It isn't fair, it isn't right,' Mrs. Hutchinson screamed, and then they were upon her."

~ Shirley Jackson, The Lottery


Talk about a surprise ending. Being stoned to death was the last thing I was expecting to be the "prize" of the lottery. This story actually raised more questions than it answered for me though - why did someone have to be killed every year? Why stone them? When was the tradition established? Why was the tradition established? How are things "not as they used to be?" I don't know. I'm just really intrigued right now.

So this story focuses on point of view. It is in third person, so we see the actions of all the village people. I think this helps the story because it gives different perspectives and opinions of the ritual. Mr. Summers thinks it's necessary, Warner thinks it's evolved into something different, worse than it used to be, and Mrs. Hutchinson thinks that it is unjust and brutal (whether that is because she is morally sound or the victim, I am not sure).

This story reminded me of Lord of the Flies. I think it's all that primitivistic stuff - the rituals and brutality of people.

A Milestone in Blogging - Short Story Blog 4 (Miss Brill)

"She sat there for a long time. The box that the fur came out of was on the bed. She unclasped the necklet quickly; quickly, without looking laid it inside. But when she put the lid on she thought she heard something crying."

~ Katherine Mansfield, Miss Brill

Guess what? This is the first week in a long time that I haven't written a hate blog. There wasn't a story for which I had a strong dislike. Woo

Okay, so I'm just going to give my personal reaction to this story. Miss Brill was a bit obnoxious at the beginning. She thought she was hot stuff because she was better than everybody and into fashion. She was very vain for an old person; usually they are supposed to mature and get past that stuff. She only looked at appearances, and she didn't even consider herself old. It was like she was stuck in middle school - you know, when girls think they are cool because they have the best clothes and judge other people relentlessly. This bothered me. But then at the end, when the couple was making fun of her, I felt really bad. I think everyone has had that humbling moment in their lives - or they will experience it sometime in the near future - and that just sucks. Also, everyone has acted like Miss Brill at the beginning of the story, and even though we should all be put in our place sometimes, the couple was really harsh. I felt awful for Miss Brill when she was in her room, and she was really ashamed of her pelt thing, which she had been so proud of before someone said something. Only emoticons can express my feelings for this story - : ( 

Fiery Phoenix / Indirect Characterization - Short Story Blog 2 (A Worn Path)

"She walked on. The shadows hung from the oak trees to the road like curtains. Then she smelled wood-smoke, and smelled the rier, and she saw a steeple and the cabins on their steep steps. Dozens of little black children whirled around her. There ahead was Natchez shining. Bells were ringing. She walked on."

~ Eudora Welty, A Worn Path

I think it looks more like a dragon, but you get the point. 

Pheonix Jackson is the protagonist of this short story. She has a very interesting personality, but it isn't revealed directly. It's time for another adventure in indirect characterization! Yay. So basically, Phoenix is a very determined, strong woman with a fiery personality (hence the blog title). Not only does she travel miles to find her grandson's medicine, but she does it with fervor; she never lets anything get her down until she reaches her destination. Some of her personality is also portrayed in her description at the beginning. She wears bright clothes and a red rag, which reflects her personality. Also, her name gives insight into her qualities. A phoenix is a powerful bird that thrives in fire (it arises from the ashes. That's where it is born). Just like the phoenix, Phoenix is a strong-willed woman who faces difficulties and overcomes them.

Poor Frank / Internal Conflict - Short Story Blog 1 (Week Three. Eveline)

"He rushed beyond the barrier and called to her to follow. He was shouted at to go on but he still called to her. She set her white face to him, passive, like a helpless animal. Her eyes gave him no sign of love or farewell or recognition."

~ James Joyce, Eveline


So, during the story, the main character Eveline is faced with a dilemma - do I leave for Buenos Aires with my fiance who I don't really love to escape my domestic problems, or do I stay home with my imminently abusive father because my mother's death wish was for me to keep the family together? That's some deep stuff. Let's take a closer look.

Obviously, Eveline has had some problems from her past. Her father physically abused her brothers and her mother (I think, but don't quote me). However, I don't think he didn't love her; they had some good times together and he always worked hard for her and the family. Eveline loved her mother, so when her mom was dying and told her to take care of the family, this probably created a lot of the conflict she is feeling. But there is still a whole other level added to this internal tug-of-war. Eveline is engaged to Frank, a man who really loves her and is willing to provide for her and make her happy; she always thinks of him as a "savior" though, not someone she can love, like you are supposed to do when you have a fiance. Basically, he is her lame excuse to leave her family and temporarily escape from her home life. So what it boils down to is the decision between a safe, loveless life free of concern or a more emotionally oscillating life filled with love, resentment, and catharsis. In the end, she chose her family. I think she made the right choice.

Family Guy Minus the Funny - Short Story Blog 4 (Hunters in the Snow)

" 'You almost ran me down,' Tub said. 'You could've killed me.'
'Come on, Tub,' said the man beside the driver. 'Be mellow. Kenny was just messing around.' He opened the door and slid over to the middle of the seat."

~ Tobias Wolff, Hunters in the Snow


Earlier, this story was compared to the show Family Guy. While that is pretty accurate - dysfunctional characters, strange situations, moderate violence - it did lack one thing: humor. Now, I'm not saying that it was a bad story. It could be worse. But it seemed that if the author had taken a more humorous spin on it, the story really would have been great. The characters whine and complain pretty much the whole time, and they are really mean to each other. Yeah, I guess it's "friend humor", but it seemed to go beyond that. I think that gave it an angst-y tone that reminded me of petty high school drama. Family Guy is just hilarious. So, to make up for the dramatic stuff that happens in the story, I am going to put as many clean clips of Family Guy as I can find on here.

COME AT ME, BRO - Short Story Blog 3 (Bartleby the Scrivener)

"I would prefer not to."

~ Herman Melville, Bartleby the Scrivener


Okay, prepare yourself for a huge catharsis.

THIS STORY WAS HORRIBLE. Not only did I hate the characters, but I hated the plot. I hated the ending. I hated the redundancies. I hated the length. I can remember sitting in class, reading this story, and saying "Dear God, why am I still reading this?" I'm pretty sure there was an entire page that didn't have a paragraph break. Great job telling me the exact same thing over and over and over and over and over and over and over, narrator.  You are just fan-freaking-tastic. I don't even feel sorry for you for having to put up with Bartleby and your other neurotic co-workers - you are just stupid for doing so. Why don't you just fire them?? Maybe then the story would be a little shorter and a little more bearable.

In conclusion, if I ever saw Herman Melville in person, I would probably punch him in the face for producing such a monstrosity.

Oh, My God, You Killed Kenny / Q 1 - Short Story Blog 2 (Hunters in the Snow)

"Nobody knows. That's the worst of it, Frank. Not the being fat, I never got any big kick out of being thin, but the lying. Having to lead a double life like a spy or hit man. This sounds strange but I feel sorry for those guys, I really do. I know what they go through. Always having to think about what you say and do. Always feeling like people are watching you, trying to catch you at something. Never able to just be yourself."

~ Tobias Wolff, Hunters in the Snow


I wasn't sure what to do for this blog so it would count for a "Lit Terms" entry, so I am going to answer question 1 after the story in the book.

Which of the three principal characters do you find most sympathetic? The least sympathetic? Do the characters' names help us to form our impressions of them?


(And by "the most sympathetic" I am going to interpret that as "evokes the most sympathy")

It was a close race, but here is the order I would put for which character I felt the most sorry.

1) Tub
2) Kenny
3) Frank

I felt the most sorry for Tub because I think he is a good guy at heart. No, I don't care if he is a little slow and a lot fat - that's no reason to throw all sympathy out the window. He is an underdog, and even if he doesn't necessarily overcome anything throughout the story, that makes him likable. He takes Frank's creepy problems to heart and tries to comfort him, even though Frank was being a tool earlier in the story. Tub is definitely insecure about himself and his eating problem - we can all relate to having insecurities. Tub is just nice and he cares about his "friends" even though they are mean to him.

Next, I felt the most sorry for Kenny. Given these three conditions I was under prior to reading the story

1) his name is Kenny
2) there are guns involved in this story
3) I am familiar with South Park

I knew something was gonna go down. And it did. Kenny is number two on the sympathy list only because he was shot accidentally by Tub. First of all, they just throw him in the bed of the truck - I have a truck. Whenever I throw things in the bed, I can hear it slamming around in there - ouch. Then, they stop and say, "Oh, Kenny, we are getting a little chilly, so we are going to let you freeze/bleed to death while we go to a gas station or diner or whatever and practice gluttony with pancakes." And then it almost suggests that he dies at the end when they went the wrong way to go to the hospital. That sucks.

Third was Frank. I didn't really feel sorry for him at all. He isn't just a jerk to both Tub and Kenny, but he is a creep. What kind of man lets his wife go out while he stays home and rocks the cradle? That's disgusting.

As for the second part of the question, yes. The names have significance. I've already touched on one (Kenny, guns, South Park), and Tub is the next. I guess he is just as big as a tub, so that gives us the image of a very, very large man. President William Howard Taft also comes to mind. But unless "Frank" means "pedophile" in a language I don't know, I don't think his name has much significance.

The Jerk Scale / Foil Characters - Short Story Blog 1 (Week 2) (Everyday Use)

"She looked at her sister with something like fear but she wasn't mad at her. This was Maggie's portion. This was the way she knew God to work."

~ Alice Walker, Everyday Use


Today in class, we talked a little bit about how putting foil characters together can exaggerate their differences. I think this was probably the story I felt the strongest about (except when I wanted to shoot myself in the face during Bartleby), simply because the two characters are on complete opposite ends of the personality gamut.

Maggie is a shy, resigned, completely selfless person. She always gives to other people (especially her psychotic sister) and thinks little of herself, even though she is genuinely a good person. She has always been a shadow to her sister because Dee is extremely confident and feels restrained in her old life - but we will get to her in a minute. I think Maggie is on the right side of the Jerk Scale.

                                    JERK SCALE

                                                                                       Maggie
----------------------------------------------------------------*-
JERK                                                                   NOT A JERK


Dee is an overly confident person. She is selfish, inconsiderate, condescending, and ridiculous. She treats her family like poop and uses them for her heritage - which makes her a hypocrite because she completely rejected her former lifestyle when she went away; she only likes the idea of her background, she likes bragging about it to people, but she hated growing up like she did. Most of all, she never thinks of Maggie, her little sister who looks up to her and needs someone there who will tell her that she is pretty and smart and worth more than she feels like she is. But, Dee fails at all of this, so she goes on the left side of the Jerk Scale.

                                         JERK SCALE

   Dee
---*---------------------------------------------------------------
JERK                                                                     NOT A JERK

Yes, both of these characters probably have traits that contradict their positions on the spectrum, but having two extreme characters in the story just emphasizes their differences.

Question-O-Rama - Poetry Blog 5 (Edward)

"O I have killed my hawk so good, Mother, Mother, O I have killed my hawk so good, And I had no more but he, O."

~ Anonymous, Edward


For my final poetry blog, I thought I would write something consisting of only questions.

Is the hawk a metaphor?
Does he get some kind of sick masochism out of killing his hawk "so good?"
If he "had no more" but his hawk, why would he kill it?
Wouldn't he have learned his lesson after he killed the hawk? Did he have to go kill the horse?
Why did he kill his father?
Did he really kill his father, or is that a metaphor?
Why does he kill so many things/people?
Is he really sailing away to do penance, or is he running from all the murder he should be charged with?
How would sailing away be penance?
Why would he just let his house fall apart? Does he think he won't ever come back?
What kind of person lets his wife/children starve and thinks "Hmmm, they can just beg on the streets until they rot away into a desperate, bitter nothing and I have the pleasure of knowing it was all my fault!" ?
Why does he hate his mom?
Hasn't his mom been helping him with his problems all this time?
Why would he suddenly turn on her?
But why did he turn on everyone else in his family?
Why didn't his mom slap him after he talked to her like that? (If I cursed my mom to hell, I might get one to the face)
Why does he think his mom had cursed him through her counsels?
Could she not just unintentionally give really bad advice?
WHY IS EDWARD SUCH A JERK??

This is Just Sad - Poetry Blog 4 (Elegy for My Father, Who Is Not Dead)

"I see myself on deck, convinced his ship's gone down, while he's convinced I'll see him standing on the dock and waving, shouting, Welcome back."

~ Andrew Hudgins, Elegy for My Father, Who is Not Dead 


I was very sad after reading this poem. I just wanted to give Andrew a hug! His father has already resigned to death, but he is really upset over this. I've never lost a parent, so I can't really imagine how painful it is, but I think if you have a lot of time to think about what's coming, then it would be very difficult to deal with before the death as well as during. Seeing someone be ready for death can be peaceful and inspiring - he/she has the courage to face the end that you don't have yet. But it is probably also concerning, especially if it's not because the person is fearlessly venturing into something that no one can ever understand, but because that person has simply given up on life. It makes me think of a nursing home full of sad, lonely old people. I feel like Andrew is a little desperate to save his father - he's trying to hold on to those last moments of life they can share, but his dad is ready to go. :( . I don't know, I'm just thinking aloud.

A Lovely Change of Pace / Paradox - Poetry Blog 3 (Lonely Hearts)

"Who knows where it may lead once we've begun? Can someone make my simple wish come true? Do you live in North London? Is it you?"

~ Wendy Cope, Lonely Hearts


The way I see it, this poem is paradoxical in two different ways.

1) The Conditions and the Situation: Each person who is writing in this "Personals" column has a different story, a different need, a different sexual orientation. However, all of these people want the same thing - love. Although these people come from diverse places and have different backgrounds, all of their hearts yearn for the same thing.

2) The Description and the Situation: The title "Lonely Hearts" suggests that each person writing in this column is alone, and not happy about it. All of these people may be alone in their life, but they are linked by what they seek. Everybody wants companionship; this brings about a tone of universality although the people are all considered lonely - there is someone out there who is like them (and hopefully someone who is for them).

The "Situation" aspect of both paradoxes is the same - love. This is made apparent through the uniformity of the last lines of each stanza - "Do you live in North London? Is it you?" or "Can someone make my simple wish come true?" Also, the last stanza, "Who knows where it may lead once we've begun? Can someone make my simple wish come true? Do you live in North London? Is it you?" is what links all of these people together and creates a common wish for which we all strive in the end.

And More Death / Metaphors - Poetry Blog 2 (Death, Be Not Proud)

"Death, be not proud, though some have called thee Mighty and dreadful, for thou art not so; For those whom thou think'st thou dost overthrow Die not, poor death, nor yet canst thou kill me."

~ John Donne, Death, Be Not Proud

This poem is filled with metaphors. The most significant metaphor relates to death and religion. Throughout the poem, there is an image of Jesus' crucifixion. It talks about how death cannot conquer a human, even if he does die - "die not, poor death, nor yet canst thou kill me." This is metaphorical for how Jesus died on the cross to save all of us and help us achieve salvation. Also, the poem says "one short sleep passed, we wake eternally, and death shall be no more; death, thou shalt die." This sounds pretty familiar - the message is in the Gospel. Jesus died, just as we all will die (the short sleep passed), but then, he gave us everlasting life (we wake eternally), because he conquered death (death, thou shalt die). These metaphors teach to not be afraid of death because we will all be saved and live forever in the end.

Death Sums Up This Week / Couplets - Poetry Blog 1 (Week 5 and then we are done. That Time of Year)

"This thou perceivest, which makes thy love more strong, To love that well which thou must leave ere long."

~ William Shakespeare, That Time of Year


First off, I would like to point out something that will probably be discussed (or at least briefly mentioned) in class - this is a sonnet. That's 14 lines, people.

Secondly, I would like to say that I am sensing a pattern in Shakespearean sonnets. In William's last poem we analyzed, My Mistress' Eyes, he presented 12 lines of poetry that seemingly had one meaning, but then the last couplet completely changed the message; it turned the poem from critical and demeaning to realistic yet sweet. This poem is no different; the first three quatrains each have their own metaphor for death - which seems to be a recurring theme in almost every poem - the nature (birds and trees) to twilight and dusk to the "ashes of his youth," or fire. But what seems to be a reflection on imminent death takes on not a different meaning, but a more complex one. The last two lines say "this thou perceivest, which makes thy love more strong, to love that well which thou must leave ere long"; in English, that means that because the woman he loves knows he is old and may die soon, her love grows stronger for him and she cherishes it more because they have a limited amount of time until he will die. Or, I guess he may not even be that old, but the couple just recognizes how short life is. So, at first the poem meant that death was near, but now it means that we should love others to the fullest before we die.

Frog Prince - Poetry Blog 5 (Hazel Tells LaVerne)

"kiss me just kiss me once on the nose well i screams ya little green pervert an i hitsm with my mop an has ta flush the toilet down three times me a princess"

The last poem for this week is Hazel Tells LaVerne by Katharyn Howd Machan. This is probably one of the most unique poems I have read yet. First of all, the lack of punctuation yet easily understandable material was very refreshing. I got a clear image of what was happening, and it was actually a bit entertaining to imagine. I wonder, though - does the author actually write like that or did she write in a dialect to give personality to the character? Either way, it worked. I also liked that it was a story I had heard several times before, but with a twist - she gets rid of him instead of taking him up on his offer. I can tell that she is a very realistic person by the way she is so shocked at the thought of being a princess; she even repeats it. Overall,  I enjoyed this poem. It was a nice change compared to the rest of the stuff we have read in the last couple of weeks.

Approaching Death / Symbolism - Poetry Blog 4 (Crossing the Bar)

"Sunset and evening star, And one clear call for me! And may there be no moaning of the bar When I put out to sea."

The poem Crossing the Bar by Alfred, Lord Tennyson uses a lot of symbolism throughout. During the poem, he is talking about what he wants to happen at his imminent death. He doesn't want anyone to mourn for him; his death should be quiet and peaceful. He says this several times when he states "And may there be no moaning of the bar When I put out to sea," and "And may there be no sadness of farewell When I embark." The sea is used as a symbol for death, and as he crosses the sandbar into the sea, he is dying. The poem brings about the idea of the "circle of life" as a never-ending cycle when Tennyson says "But such a tide moving seems asleep, Too full for sound and foam, When that which drew from out the boundless deep Turns again home." God is also represented in the poem as the Pilot when Tennyson expresses his desire to see God when he dies.

Time Flies / Oxymoron - Poetry Blog 3 (To His Coy Mistress)

"Thus, though we cannot make our sun Stand still, yet we will make him run."

In Andrew Marvell's poem To His Coy Mistress, in the title, immediately we see an oxymoron. "Coy mistress" is strange because someone who is coy is holding back, but "mistress" is associated with giving in to carnal desires, especially when there is a separate marriage involved. In this case, the mistress and man just haven't done the deed yet. While the speaker never directly says that he wants sex, the oxymoron reveals what he is asking of his mistress. He is telling her that if they had an infinite amount of time, he would have no problem waiting, but time is running out - carpe diem! What better time than the present? She is trying to preserve her honor, but he is doing everything he can to destroy it. The diction in this poem creates a sense of urgency that supports the speaker's opinions on time.

The Great Escape / Tone - Poetry Blog 2 (Getting Out)

"Every night another refusal, the silent work of tightening the heart. Exhausted, we gave up."

In Cleopatra Mathis' poem Getting Out, she describes two people imprisoned in a relationship. Eventually, they divorce and go their separate ways although it is difficult to split. The tone throughout the poem can be described as exasperated. Whenever they were married, they were called "inmates." The relationship definitely wore on both of the people as it progressed. Instead of benefiting the couple, it  brought resentment that would ultimately lead to the demise of the marriage. The tone could also be considered poignant. The two had an emotionally destructive relationship, but they had also shared a lot of experiences together that could never be replaced by anyone or anything else, so there would be mixed feelings about the divorce.