"I would prefer not to."
~ Herman Melville, Bartleby the Scrivener
Okay, prepare yourself for a huge catharsis.
THIS STORY WAS HORRIBLE. Not only did I hate the characters, but I hated the plot. I hated the ending. I hated the redundancies. I hated the length. I can remember sitting in class, reading this story, and saying "Dear God, why am I still reading this?" I'm pretty sure there was an entire page that didn't have a paragraph break. Great job telling me the exact same thing over and over and over and over and over and over and over, narrator. You are just fan-freaking-tastic. I don't even feel sorry for you for having to put up with Bartleby and your other neurotic co-workers - you are just stupid for doing so. Why don't you just fire them?? Maybe then the story would be a little shorter and a little more bearable.
In conclusion, if I ever saw Herman Melville in person, I would probably punch him in the face for producing such a monstrosity.
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